Attention Seeking Disorder

(Phone blog featuring Nicola Pollock)

Currently on the phone to my soul mate discussing the lack of privacy among people our age. What I mean by this is the amount of people who declare their "problems" and "issues" to the whole bloody world.

Shut the fuck up.

Majority of these people seem to be drawn other certain who have real problems of their own. I'm all for people venting however try do it in moderation and about things that actually matter or exist if possible.

TTFN.

Emotional retardation

Maybe its selective,

Maybe its to cope with having to second-handedly deal with your shit.

"Don't judge me," you say,

as your eyes slur around the room.

Your ranting now meaningless,

and your apologies pathetic.

The constant battle of trying to help,

whilst trying not to get infected.

How years have passed,

with no significant change.

Just more reasons,

as to why you are what you are.

My insides age,

Yet I am masked by youth.

A shell of skin fills the room,

But I am no longer present.

You took my life,

away from me.

As a compromise of being unable,

to take your own

Procrastination

Oweeee how year 12 is taking it's toll. The amount of stuff I should be doing (even as I write this) is endless. This week consists of a viscom sac, english oral and psychology era. Not to mention the deadline for my folios, its now less than four weeks. AND prep for mid year exams...WOOOOOO-HOOOOOOO!!

I figured out though, when I officially finish school...I believe it will be November 16th 2pm. This is the light at the end of the very long long long long long tunnel.

Anywho it's back to the books for me.

TTFN.

Ma Main Man

Well well well...its about time that I posted a blog about my loverrrr. Yes this man is the one and only Noel Fielding aka Vince Noir in The Mighty Boosh.

Previously roaming the stage as a stand up comedian he and his partner in crime Juilan Barrat now write TMB which is what you could call an acquainted taste. This eccentric Englishman struck my heart when I first noticed his quirky dress sense whilst watching an ep of his series and ever since our virtual marriage has been going strong.

Identity theft

Do you ever feel that someone is copying you in every way possible. Whether it be on purpose or not, it still gets to you. Soon enough your clothes,hair, taste even your friends become replicated by someone else and its as if your style isn't so unique anymore.

          
                                                                     TTFN.

Winter awaits and echoes her sorrow

Shadows dance under the moonlight

to the timeless song of love

The Garden of Eden now wilted and barren

the gods avenge with an eternal curse

She rides upon the wings of darkness

calling the names of the damned

Frozen in ice yet burning in flames

hollow hearts and empty hands

The keys to love have descended 

to the triple six below

Angels parade they're fear of love

Whilst the fallen remain bloody and lone

Internal scars bleed dry whilst

Winter awaits and echoes their sorrow

Shadows dance under the moonlight

to the timeless song of life

Now decrepit from the endless tomorrows

Who doesn't love a bit of Philosophy?

The people of today are rarely heard saying "This is my responsibility," or "These are my responsibilities." Instead they are heard exclaiming "This is my right", "These are my rights." We look at society and see greed and hatred. It is so simple for us to cast out the wrong doers, and point the blame in their direction. Yet shouldn't question ourselves as to who raised these people? Whose responsibility were they?

People are more concerned with their own security than other people's. People are more concerned with their wealth than well being. If modern day society is corrupt and toxic, then why are we blaming the portion of the world who contribute to such evil, because they had to start from somewhere.

This technology dominant generation, is the start of a new wave for man kind. We are so consumed with the material aspects of the world, and are forgetting how to properly live. Mankind's inability to connect and respect, is changing the world as we know. It has changed the world as we know. Change is how we began. Change is how we survived, and change is how we will diminish. We are at a crossroad of problems and each government is scrambling for a solution.

Soon it will be my generation's responsibility to care for the Earth. We need to resurrect the values and morals in order for future generations to survive.

Puru

It's 23 days until my best mate leaves for Puru. Yes you read correctly Puru. After a grueling twelve years at her prestigious school, she has now graduated and broken free. Now I'm a little sketchy on the details, but as far as I know she's volunteering over there, assisting in the construction of schools and teaching English to school children. So in other words, she's pretty damn amazing/brilliant/kind/helpful/selfless/ did I say brilliant?

Any-who, the concept of her leaving me for approximately 9 months is daunting enough, yet the thought of having to deal with year 12 ALONE, is almost too much to bare. Last year when she battled through her studies, I was there for her every complaint and breakdown. However I fear as though I will be venting to her via means of SKYPE. Yet as much as I'm willing to shun the whole trip, I must think of the children!! After Lizzie (that is her name) finishes her good deeds in Peru, she will be venturing out to London to see our dear friend Buzz. This little quest has also left me envious of her freedom, and resentful of the rest of my year.

Another important aspect of this year she will miss out on is my eighteenth birthday, the passing of my moped license and the passing of my car license. I can't even take her to my formal if I find myself partnerless. Yes, it will be one of the hardest years of my life (I use the word hardest very loosely.) Just incase some of you readers, which certainly isn't many, are unaware of where or even what Peru is, let me inform you.

          Some Llamas, which are Peru's native animal...I think.

Machu Picchu, built in 1492, and will be one of the many places Lizzie will explore.

The Peruvian Map.

I look forward to 1) her going away party 2) her birthday present for me, because they're simply the best 3) her arriving home.

TTFN.

A different perspective

The pain that ignites our hearts

Writhes uncomfortably

The searing edge of doubt

Once blinds, now makes us see

As the serpent of lies come forth

And our thoughts of despise show through

I can run and hide from you

But I will never be set free

Unwrap these chains of trust

Words simply aren't enough

The golden sun is setting

And the darkness is caving in

We loath the grip that remains

Turning our heart insane

I dare not speak

In the name of fear

Knowing my chances are weak

I'll forever hide my dear

Wait until the waves crash in

And all is destroyed

I'll never stop waiting

I'll never give in

And we can feel it burning

Our soul's are yearning

For the one it calls it's own

We will forever burn.

My heart goes out to you, my dear friend.

xx

Would you like a sample?

Half way between English and visual communication and design, I was adamant to find something fresh in my wardrobe...and by fresh I mean old.

                         Shirt: vintage Joe Boxer. Denim Jacket: vintage roy. Hoodie: American Apparel

After this state of procrastination, I then decided to surf the Net in updates of IDN Magazine. Probably the most delectable and cool magazine EVERRR!! Seeing as its only been 2 weeks since I bought my last one, I assumed there wouldn't be any new releases. But I clicked away regardless.

This month...

includes a range of designers who prefer the "hands-on" approach, as opposed to usual digital work. To my surprise, when I purchased the mag I received a complimentary DVD filled with juicy short films, animations, commercials, promos and photo-shoots. The layout of the magazine is also an inspiration to me, in reference to the sub-culture magazine I'm developing for my media outcome.

I'd like to say kudos to Nazario Graziano...big name, major graphic designer/illustrator. He is the founder of ATNI and RevolverLover magazine. The bloke's never ending portfolio is due to his massive cliental. He's been summoned by MTV, Toyota, New York Magazine, IDN Magazine, Toxic.fm and many many more companies.

Conclusion...he's a pretty rad dude.

TTFN.

How busy have I been?

Well it's been a mere 12 days since I have last blogged, however I do believe that it is bloggers sin not to post 3 times a week. I'VE BEEN BUSY!! As I sit here on my balcony in the humidity, delighting myself in the abyss of tea and pod 'toffee time' snacks I am stifled for the topic of this blog.

Over the last 2 weeks I have

1) had 2 English SACS, 1 Psych SAC and 1 Viscom SAC.

2) cut out alcohol for Future Music ( i will get to that later)

3) developed minor anxiety that I won't sum up the ENTER score in order for me to do the courses I want after school.

So sunday the 8th a bunch and friends and I, gathered our tickets, ID's and doses of cash to spend a brilliant day at Flemington Race Courses. My Friday afternoon was spent at American Apparel with Jem as we pieced together our outfit. I had an idea in mind, which was bought to life by a cute metallic purple bando which I dressed with a cut up baggy white singlet and some old high waisted LEE jeans, cut into shorts and frayed at the ends. I was chuffed with myself.

As suspected none of us had a decent sleep the night before, due to the anticipation of the day ahead. Jem managed to squeeze a lift from me, and no sooner we arrived at Kels 10:30 that morning. The next 2 hours was filled with steady drinking and bread consumption, in order to make a safe day. In what felt like a 10 minute train ride, we were at Flemington Race Course and had successfully walked past security with no problem. Us four girls, my Disney Land bum bag acting as a locker for my good were ready to rock the day.

I managed to get about 10 shoulder lifts in the main stage, which no doubt impaired on the vision of the people behind...i didn't care. The masses of festival heads in that area alone was incomprehensible. Basement Jaxx boomed through the speakers and everyone went nuts. My favorite artist however was definitely N.E.R.D. I swear I got direct eye contact with Pharrell.

The rest of the day went as a bit of a blur, despite my near sobriety. So many people, so much noise. For only paying 95 dollars and spending 20 at the actual event it was well worth it. Of course my budget plan was successful due to the mushy "Ribena" drinks I shoved down my bra, then later consumed with a sour face. It was definitely the best day of my life.

I want to travel back to the past to relive Future.

TTFN.

The cradle will Fall

Something I found in the bundle of disarrayed files of my MAC computer. Enjoy.

My existence has been tainted.

All I have known,

All I have lost,

Has been smeared with unworthiness.

I do not cry to you,

I just explain.

Nothing can be so pure,

So sacred anymore.

Life as I know it has been altered,

Yet nothing has changed.

Five simple words,

In an attempt of destruction,

Of me as a whole.

Yet I was unknown to the world.

Which makes me wonder,

How could something so unknown...

Be so unwanted.

The greatest betrayal of love.

The greatest cluster of lies.

The muster of truth,

Descends into the dark abyss.

Leaving remains of the past,

Naked and raw.

She turned out beautiful,

And forever onwards he claimed her

As his own.

Colours merge into one, 

And the blanket of deception

Covers her tiny body.

The beginning of her life,

Marked the beginning of the end for some.

Prior weekend events

Haven't really been a 'dedicated' blogger so far, with Year 12 homework and what not. Endless readings and revising of Psychology, English, Media and English Language, my head has been bombarded with terminologies which seems to have eliminated my flow of 'creativity'. The only real subject that allows this has been Viscom (visual communication & design), however even that has suppressed it.

It's now, technically, been 2 weeks (tomorrow) into Yr 12. Ahh!! At the moment (despite being trashed with study), I am enjoying this school year far more than last. The buzz amongst everyone, knowing that THIS is their final year has created a socializing explosion.

Last Friday all schools in the state dressed in casual clothes, in order to raise funding for the Victorian Bushfires. The school that I attend is considered an 'alternative school'. Unlike other schools, we aren't required to dress in uniform. SO..we were all told to go in reverse. Every student was asked to dress in their old school uniform, or to borrow a friends. Now, some people were rather skeptical and just showed up in their normal gear. Others took to the opportunity, and went all out with theirs. And the remaining few, were reluctant.

I, was one of those who enthusiastic on the idea. As were most of my friends. So pulling out my old school dress, which had been vandalized as a means of my last day and pushing out the lenses of my 5 dollar market ray bans, it was off to school!! I started at 10:50, however due to slight excitement and summoning the ounce of motivation that dwells within me, I turned up at 9:15. I speant that time in the library, subtly spying on all who were drab and all who were fab. Then came recess, which was where everybody shined. To my discovery a few of the boys managed to borrow either their girlfriends or sisters dresses. A few of which kindly provided themselves with wigs. Another discovery which was predicted by alot of people, were the outfits worn by some of the girl students. It appeared that they had conjured up the sluttiest outfits hanging in their wardrobe, which had SOME school relation..and then cut them to an incomprehendable length. 

All in all though, the day managed to turn out pretty good. Everybody had fun and we managed to raise money for the fires. And just to top off the day Polly (my best mate) Jayo, and I bussed on over to Megs-the after school spot for us girls. We conversed in topics such as school, and boys and the all time regular..body types. So summing up these past almost 2 weeks of school, I am forecasting a kick-ass year!! 

Piccies at Megs

Hell On Earth

This blog is very dark. 

So far it's been nearly 6 whole days of Australia's worst natural disaster, ever to be recorded. It began Saturday the seventh of February, reaching a whopping 46 degrees at 2:27pm. This broke the previous record held by 'Black Friday', which climbed to 45.6 degrees on January thirteenth, 1939. Other temperatures around the state reached scorching temperatures like such as 47.2 degrees, which in some countries is in-comprehensive.

Australia is well known for it's sun and bush. During the summer season, this combination it's the perfect breading ground for full blown bushfires. Every Aussie knows about Black Friday and Ash Wednesday as being our country's worst bushfires ever. Yet last Saturday added another name to this notorious list. The media has titled the disaster 'Hell on Earth' which pretty much sums up the trauma that the residents of Kings Lake, Marysville, Whittlesea, Yea and many other rural towns have gone through. 

The death toll has reached just about 200.

Two hundred mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, sons and daughters have all perished. Houses have been lost, including mass amounts of live stock. This is the statistic that has been found on this day. Authorities have barely uncovered the lost lifes, that lay across Victoria. There were few lucky to escape with minimal injuries. Yet some were not so lucky.

I'd just like to let the victims, authorities and volunteers know that all of Australia including myself are thinking of you. I know that sixty million dollars has been donated to the Victorian Bushfire appeal already which is a massive help. Please donate to the Australian Red Cross, and give generously. I am trying to find a way to get down to the Gippsland area to volunteer next weekend. I really cannot express my sadness to this massive loss of lives. My heart aches from the thought of so much destruction and so much chaos.

The Australian spirit will never die, so for every Australian reading this blog...this is the time when we stick together and unite as a country.

R.I.P to all who were lost...

Deflowering my Blog Spot

Whomever may be reading this, I believe we now share a special bond...

you have taken my blog virginity!!

Anywho, I'm here mainly because I stumbled across a bunch of old writings of mine. Reading over a few of them I felt compelled to create a blog. So I already knew about this site through a good friend of mine named Jessio, otherwise known as Jayo .

Going through the process of creating the actual profile/blog itself wasn't very cumbersome at all, however when I came to naming my blog and the website I was stuck in a rut. So what do you do when this happens? You ask your mum! I already had an idea which was jar full of words, which I ran past her and in a cheerfully buoyant manner she agreed.

Well I look forward to sharing possibly the most utter pointless and lame, thoughts and ramblings with you all.

TTFN.